sooo last year

so...
i lasted more than a whole year without being ill!

but have just had a bout of flu - it came on tuesday night, i first defensed first thing thursday morning, spent thursday night through saturday lunchtime in bed - but am up and around now...

a year ago this would have layed me out for weeks, but now it's just days.

i think i am finally better!!!!!

fish my wish

so i went to go stay with fishie at the weekend.
as brixxolfest was a bit very boring with its silent disco we went off to the hatchet - this really old pub that was full of yummy rock and rollers, but it was full full full so we decided to leave. i spotted the yummiest of the rock and roll boys across the room - totally my type - looks just like the scandotoy but dresses like my old old pikey boy ex.

i could not believe it when he stopped me on my way out and told me how lovely my tattoos were - so we got talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, then i went off to the loo and we still kept talking - good sign as he coulda made his exit then...then back to fishie's place for a nightcap as it turns out he lives round the corner from him! fishie's place wasn't rocking as much as her and i would have liked so we walked him home.

and i stayed!
it was lovely, all night hugs and cuddles and more, then more in the morning, and the next night he dropped by and stayed. big big love to the fishwhisker for letting me kick her out of her bed for the night, that is true friendship. and now i'm sitting here in london one total smitten kitten as he's coming to visit me for a long long lovely weekend on thursday night.

wow, its happened so soon and i'm trying not to freak out or jinx it so am trying to relax into it and just enjoy it - but it's so damn hard after being so hurt. fingers crossed this one doesn't rip my heart out and stamp on it.

monday in bed

actually too tired/feverish to post but will update you all soon - hope everyone else is doing better than me!

monday morning back in bed

...but this time because of snow!
and london just seems to be closed.

i must have got the last train back into london from fishie's last night as the fatman i was spposed to have a meeting with this evening is still stuck in yorkshire. got back to a very very very pretty snow covered london - quieter streets than usual and the usual road construction around here meant alot of the sidestreets were untouched...but also meant no buses, and with the victoria line on usual weekend lockdown there was no chance of a nice reunion with the lovely fiance...so my daughter and i had a lovely bottle of wine and got a bit tipsey then joined some strangers on the street for a midnight snowman building competition (photos to follow)

so i'm double prozac'd and in bed working...

...might finally see the fiance if the snow resides and the one tube line that is running still holds!

now is wish i'd just stayed in bristol with fishie though.
miss taking the isis dog for walks - today would be brilliant in this weather!

degrees of seperation...

in the old punker/internet/hepC world it seems like the degrees of separation are quite quite low...

another person that i used to squat with by euston station here in london has contacted me via facebook and it turns out that they were tx'd for hepC 5 years ago and cleared.

which again makes it very interesting, because between fishie, me, and them - that all squated together - out of the 3 of us we have genotypes 1, 2, 3 covered!

weird. weird. weird.

so next week shall be a bit of a reunion week as i'm seeing the person that tracked me down on facebook when they are in town on tues/wed then i have fishie visiting london the rest of the week!

which reminds me that i need to get out of bed and go sort the spareroom out...ugh.

been in bed all morn hunting for a sexy hotel in central central milan.
headin over there to see the black keys and get tattooed in november!

monday back in bed again

monday back in bed...
but kinda unavoidable really as i've been going all out since ibiza.
work has been manic and culminated last week with a 14 hour shoot on friday where i just mucked in and became the calligrapher, art department, wardrobe, model, brand and CSAA nazi. so no wonder i slept all night when i finally got home at 1am after getting up for my taxi at 6!

but even though i woke up at 7am i was straight back to bed and didn't get out til 7pm
and that was only for a yummy take away from wagamama

then spent the day in bed yesterday crocheting a lovely skull and crossbones scarf for the fiance - made of yarn that his grandmother gave me when i was in naples last month, its so cozy i cant wait to finish it and start on one for myself - but i also need to finish the skeleton bride/groom that i'm making for my friends cory/alice for their wedding party this month.

but all weekend i kept getting achier and achier and painkillers and stretching were not helping, woke up with chills and sore throat this morning so gave in and called in sick - only my 3rd unplanned sick day since i started treatment last feb, not bad if i do say so myself!

and as my fever has escalated at least my rash has gone down.
so much so that i have booked myself in for some botox on wednesday night!
wohooo!!!

23

its one of those numbers isn't it? lucky like number 7 and/or strange like number 13...one of those numbers that people have something about. but not like my 5 tattoo or 666.

so shot 23 kicked my butt last night. its 5pm and i'm still in bed. the fluey aches started earlier than normal but my own fault for overdoing it last week (again). actually went to a big industry party for moo and was out later than i have been for the last treatment 6 months...i did fall asleep in the indian restaraunt after the party but it was worth it for the yummy auberginey dish i had!

it was also just nice to see all my haddock friends. they have been amazing in their support during my treatment and it was nice to sit around and talk and hug. see, haddock is a little private mailing list i've been on since 1995 - full of other people who have worked or do work or somehow are connected to the digital industry. so i've been talking to these people all day everyday online for over a decade and they have become my best friends. was sooo good to see them.

anyway, laptop battery dying so better go.

easy like sunday moaning...

still overdoing it...
yesterday morn woke up really wiped from the shot, but took some heavy codeines for the muscle migraine and went to diamond jack's in soho with the fiance to watch my friend iestyn inflict some pain...fiance now has new fancy diagonaly nipple bar piercings and i can't wait to get better to have the cute little ies do some body mods on me - his new scarification work is amaxing!

then went to my local and almost fell asleep at the bar again.
i'm really close with everyone there - the ship on wardour street is like my home, so they all know what i'm going through and all rooting for me to get better. its lovely having so much support.

after that i trekked over to the farmers market at the brunswick that i've been telling my treatment buddy humbleheart about. its amaxing that she used to live right by me over here before moving back home to the states - we must have passed each other in the street many times...the world is so big but hepC makes it so small.

yes and so does buckminster fuller and the whole degrees of separation thing, but when i start looking at the 'tribes' i belong to it really does get small...like finding out me and fishwhiskers used to live in the same punker squat! how weird would it have been if we had the same genotype?

anyway more about overdoing it yesterday...
bought some nice baklava and came home. the fiance then announced that he wanted to learn to crochet to make a zombie amigurumi. i explained that he needed to learn the basics first so spent the last miniscule bits of my energy teaching him to chain, double crochet, and how to work in a round...his first project of a varigated coaster is just getting off the ground.

then i went to bed at 11pm and slept through to 5am - my usual wake up time for more painkillers, had a top up with some rooibos tea and then back to sleep...i slept straight through to 10am, missing my pill time and everything - not that i have any appetitie to take them with...so just swallowed them down with grapefruit juice and lounged til now.

still feeling horrid head and body achy breaky so more codeine and the kid is going to come round and hang out with me...she is also going through a hard time right now but that is a whole nother post about her hurt foot, work situation, and where is she going to live/travel to?

i wish i had that kinda freedom too.

o and for those that are interested - my tattoo artist is moving shops!
check out xed's page....

friday updates

crochet update:
1 blind octopus delivered to work friend
1 purple octopus with eyes given to daughter isis
2 more and a squid taking over our cacti...will take some photos soon!
and i made 2 more octopussies last night, am going to get started on some jellyfish soon too.

work update:
office closed for move so doing it from bed today so far, which is lovely as i probably only slept a couple hours last night after fucking for ages i still woke up at 3am wide awake and not able to get back to sleep til probably 6am for the fiance's alarm to go at 7am...but that meant more cuddles so i'm not complaining.

tx update:
tummy not as bad but still not great. keeping things down...a bit.
shot 15 tonight. the fiance's bro and dad are in town tomoro so hope i can soldier through.
will be nice to see them but they must be wondering why i'm always so exhausted - well, besides work...but both being chefs should know what it is like!

oki i should actually do work.
o and download some more learnitalianpod casts to listen to if i do make it the gym today!

almost halfway!

tomoro night is shot 12.

and i wish i could find some sort of pattern emerging to treatment and stuff, but no...except for feeling like all i do is work and sleep. last night i tried the gym and only managed 24 minutes of the lightest cardio - that is less than my usual warm up at level 6 used to be! ugh. i can feel my thighs expanding as i type...

then went home. was so tired i hardly managed to get the clothes in the new washer/dryer then was in bed by 10pm, luckily with the fiance there to cuddle me and rub my feet...so not so lonely, but wide awake by 2am, daughter popped in very drunk around 3am so at least i had someone to watch old episodes of bewitched with!

so today am exhausted. and needing more codeine.
thursday is usually my best day and i feel horrid. which usually means friday shot night will not be fun. saturday will have to be spent doing absolutely nothing (altho i want my hair touched up again badly) as the fiance's family is here from naples on sunday and we need to show them around. my idea is take them on a river boat cruise up the thames then do the london eye so i can just sit sit sit rather than walk walk walk.

and i've got the 24/7 queasies now. ginger. ginger. ginger...is my friend.

monday not a funday

ugh...still in bed and fighting to stay awake.
the only thing that woke me up was a couple work calls from ppl that are out of the office so forgot monday is my sick day. no biggie...but now i'm up i know if i sleep all day i'll never sleep tonight and be dead dead dead on my feet/ass tomoro - which i really dont need.

am so busy, working on great projects, but still all i seem to do is work/sleep.

oki oki i fuck and crochet too!

have added the link to the octopussy pattern to my sidebar for anyone that wants it.
you'll notice i changed mine a little bit (and they still don't have eyes)

xxx

if its tuesday it must not be belgium. darn.

yesterday was bad.

it was the first time i woke up sooo sick in the middle of the night that i thought 'there is no way i am going to make it to work today'...
i layed in b3d for hours just feeling feverish and pukey and achey,
but in the end i forced meself to get up out of bed and go in.

then i sat at my desk all day trying not to puke in my bin.
my lovely colleagues kept asking me if i needed to be there (answer yes) and telling me i looked ghostly white (i am sure that i did as i felt it)

i am at week 8
its when i heard it gets bad

and to stop feeling so spaced i'm only taking half an anti-d on work nights...

clear!

clear!

yup 4 weeks viral load undetected...

but o so exhausted.
still going to bed way after midnight and wide awake around 4am.
i get so tired i just want to cry.

so agreed to have anti-d's today, and took my first one tonight.
will see how i get on.

altho i'm a bit worried that i'm so tired and exhausted i'll have no idea how i'm gettig on...so have talked to the fiance and asked him to kinda monitor me. not that he wouldn't but at least i've kinda made it an official request so he won't feel bad if he needs to veto my happy pills.

i soo don't like mondays...

so yesterday i also forgot to mention that i've changed my nipple rings...again...in hopes for more comfort. went down charing cross road to the chinese girls' shop and got black 1.6x16mm circular barbells - they look small on my huge nipples but don't show the migration as badly. they only take cash there so didnt get anything else - but really wanted a black belly ring and some new wooden spools for my ears too.

i'm still pretty wiped out today - so glad i've been able to be home sick rather than try to work through monday. have had a few phone calls from work, but nothing too stressful. spent awhile on the floor on my yoga mat stretching, which did NOTHIN T'ALL to relieve this migraine that has found its way down my back and shoulders.

not sure if back migraines exist - but that is what it feels like!

am finding my time at home quite lonely.
i thought that i would welcome it as my life is usually soooo buuuusy.
before tx i went into thinkin' i'd use the time to crochet, embroider, maybe make a quilt, sort out all the little niggly things in life that i never have time for - like sorting my fabric scraps, looking for a better home contents insurance deal, etc.

but no!
my tx days are getting worse, and the rest of the time i'm too exhausted.
i spend most of the time in bed with not enough brain power to even play animal crossing on my nintendo ds...but even though i'm sick its very lonely without the fiance here.
(how dare he go to work/laundrette/buy me presents, lol)

and now i've seen 2 mice.
so i really really really want a cat.
but my allergies mean its probably not the best time with my immune system sooo low - so i've spent the last half hour online looking at sphynx cats and trying to find a rescue kittie.

i want a hairless kittie to keep this hepkittie company!