poids!

so i went to relationship therapy alone tonight.
the fiance didn't come - not sure if it's his newly broken leg or work or what, but i'm such a mess i can't even really think about it right now - i need sleep.

anyway - the therapist was quite interested in my massive weight gain - its very noticeable. she says that now i know i have svr that instead of using alcohol to punish myself i have started using food as my threat of diabetes is so great that this is now an easier way of topping myself than drinking...interesting.

think i'll be safe the next few days though as paris so is not vegan!

new year, new challenges...

i'm not sure if it's just been really long drawn out jetlag, or the fact that i' now walking half an hour each way to work...but by the end of last week i was so exhausted that i have been coming straight home and going to bed and sleeping straight through...well except for a few instances, lol, i've never waited this long ever for my soul to catch up with me.

even over the weekend...saturday we worked on sealing the floor in the spare room - my job was to fold up old news papers to jam in between the boards for the sealant to sit on...but i was exhausted and had to lay down early in the evening - slept through til about 5am when i was awoken by a neighbour yelling for someone to turn down their music 'ignorant sods'...um, i'm sorry but i sleep through music - its the yelling that always wakes me up!

anyway it escalated with the police coming out and ringing down my doorbell.  at first i tried to ignore, but my daughter was also up so we let them in...they finally got my neighbour to answer his door and his hilarious reply to the police asking him to turn it down was 'but it is U2, everyone loves U2'...which made me laugh but also made me think he should obviously be arrested for bad taste or intoxication...no one in their right mind listens to U2 full blast at 5am unless they are high!!!

then of course once i was awake i couldn't get back to sleep as i've got a horrid tickly cough.  seems now i'm off the interferon i'm more susceptible to all the crap germs that are floating around my office.

and at least i still have an office.

the lovely fiance was made redundant today...

i told him that's great as it makes more time for him to plan the wedding now!

i'm not sure he's seeing it as positively as i am.

easy like sunday moaning...

still overdoing it...
yesterday morn woke up really wiped from the shot, but took some heavy codeines for the muscle migraine and went to diamond jack's in soho with the fiance to watch my friend iestyn inflict some pain...fiance now has new fancy diagonaly nipple bar piercings and i can't wait to get better to have the cute little ies do some body mods on me - his new scarification work is amaxing!

then went to my local and almost fell asleep at the bar again.
i'm really close with everyone there - the ship on wardour street is like my home, so they all know what i'm going through and all rooting for me to get better. its lovely having so much support.

after that i trekked over to the farmers market at the brunswick that i've been telling my treatment buddy humbleheart about. its amaxing that she used to live right by me over here before moving back home to the states - we must have passed each other in the street many times...the world is so big but hepC makes it so small.

yes and so does buckminster fuller and the whole degrees of separation thing, but when i start looking at the 'tribes' i belong to it really does get small...like finding out me and fishwhiskers used to live in the same punker squat! how weird would it have been if we had the same genotype?

anyway more about overdoing it yesterday...
bought some nice baklava and came home. the fiance then announced that he wanted to learn to crochet to make a zombie amigurumi. i explained that he needed to learn the basics first so spent the last miniscule bits of my energy teaching him to chain, double crochet, and how to work in a round...his first project of a varigated coaster is just getting off the ground.

then i went to bed at 11pm and slept through to 5am - my usual wake up time for more painkillers, had a top up with some rooibos tea and then back to sleep...i slept straight through to 10am, missing my pill time and everything - not that i have any appetitie to take them with...so just swallowed them down with grapefruit juice and lounged til now.

still feeling horrid head and body achy breaky so more codeine and the kid is going to come round and hang out with me...she is also going through a hard time right now but that is a whole nother post about her hurt foot, work situation, and where is she going to live/travel to?

i wish i had that kinda freedom too.

o and for those that are interested - my tattoo artist is moving shops!
check out xed's page....

friday updates

crochet update:
1 blind octopus delivered to work friend
1 purple octopus with eyes given to daughter isis
2 more and a squid taking over our cacti...will take some photos soon!
and i made 2 more octopussies last night, am going to get started on some jellyfish soon too.

work update:
office closed for move so doing it from bed today so far, which is lovely as i probably only slept a couple hours last night after fucking for ages i still woke up at 3am wide awake and not able to get back to sleep til probably 6am for the fiance's alarm to go at 7am...but that meant more cuddles so i'm not complaining.

tx update:
tummy not as bad but still not great. keeping things down...a bit.
shot 15 tonight. the fiance's bro and dad are in town tomoro so hope i can soldier through.
will be nice to see them but they must be wondering why i'm always so exhausted - well, besides work...but both being chefs should know what it is like!

oki i should actually do work.
o and download some more learnitalianpod casts to listen to if i do make it the gym today!

monday not a funday

ugh...still in bed and fighting to stay awake.
the only thing that woke me up was a couple work calls from ppl that are out of the office so forgot monday is my sick day. no biggie...but now i'm up i know if i sleep all day i'll never sleep tonight and be dead dead dead on my feet/ass tomoro - which i really dont need.

am so busy, working on great projects, but still all i seem to do is work/sleep.

oki oki i fuck and crochet too!

have added the link to the octopussy pattern to my sidebar for anyone that wants it.
you'll notice i changed mine a little bit (and they still don't have eyes)

xxx

tiger lilies

am so wiped out today but haven't done a thing since saturday.
have tried to sleep all day and just can't - just lie there bored but too exhausted to do anything.

we have tickets for a cabaret tonight and i have no idea how i'm going to get through it.
red. bull. that will be the only way!

i would normally really be looking forward to a punk night out but i'm just not up for it tonight.
can't let me daughter down though.

at least i won't be expected to go for a drink aftrerwards!