exhausted

this last week has been pretty bad for me, not so much diet-wise as overall everything-wise...as of sunday i had worked straight through every day since the easter bank holiday and the days were sometimes as late as midnight, but sunday woke up with the worst jabbing pain ever in my lower left back - probably from sitting on my ass in a work chair 24 fucking 7...especially as with my bad bursitis i can't sit completely straight and flat for more than a couple hours at a time.

so i went and found myself a nice chinese massage on the way to work so i could actually sit in a chair, and could hardly move at bellydance...then got home and could feel one of those spangly migraines coming on so did all the right things - had a pint of water, some green tea, and some broth. or at least i tried to make some broth, but as i was filling the kettle, my middle finger went wierd and numb then my whole right hand - and it was cold to the touch.

scary.

then it passed.

but went straight to my face then my mouth then my tongue = which was even scarier. then that passed too...then the cycle started all over again about half an hour later. and this went on and on for about five hours. til i finally passed out exhausted. went to the doctor the next morning and she reckoned it is from the severity of the migraine.

or it coulda been from my back pain being a pinched nerve.

i've not been online much since it happened as looking at my netbook screen seems to set off a headache. so just sleeping alot which means i've been having a bit of a hard time actually managing to eat all 4 of my foodpacks each day...although tonight it's more just the thought of actually eating again makes me want to hurl. next week i need to make sure i've bough half shakes - they are better for the hot weather as well as at night.

25lbs down!

sooo last year

so...
i lasted more than a whole year without being ill!

but have just had a bout of flu - it came on tuesday night, i first defensed first thing thursday morning, spent thursday night through saturday lunchtime in bed - but am up and around now...

a year ago this would have layed me out for weeks, but now it's just days.

i think i am finally better!!!!!

fish my wish

so i went to go stay with fishie at the weekend.
as brixxolfest was a bit very boring with its silent disco we went off to the hatchet - this really old pub that was full of yummy rock and rollers, but it was full full full so we decided to leave. i spotted the yummiest of the rock and roll boys across the room - totally my type - looks just like the scandotoy but dresses like my old old pikey boy ex.

i could not believe it when he stopped me on my way out and told me how lovely my tattoos were - so we got talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, then i went off to the loo and we still kept talking - good sign as he coulda made his exit then...then back to fishie's place for a nightcap as it turns out he lives round the corner from him! fishie's place wasn't rocking as much as her and i would have liked so we walked him home.

and i stayed!
it was lovely, all night hugs and cuddles and more, then more in the morning, and the next night he dropped by and stayed. big big love to the fishwhisker for letting me kick her out of her bed for the night, that is true friendship. and now i'm sitting here in london one total smitten kitten as he's coming to visit me for a long long lovely weekend on thursday night.

wow, its happened so soon and i'm trying not to freak out or jinx it so am trying to relax into it and just enjoy it - but it's so damn hard after being so hurt. fingers crossed this one doesn't rip my heart out and stamp on it.