gay paree...i wish!

back from paris...and missing it already.
had a great time with my daughter over there and could really live there.
i'd have to get my french back and a job, but damn it's so much nicer than london - something for me to think about next time my daughter goes wandering off again, because really that is the only reason i have to be in london right now...

...because i'm really fucking up at work thanks to the fiance thing.
yea i know tx hasn't helped - but i should be celebrating and supporting all those that supported me while i was sick - instead i'm horrid at work and i can't think and they are tired of it. damn. i am tired of it - but other than double my prozac or top myself i really don't see a way out of this depression.

i hate being alone and even more so now i'm not brain dead from interferon.
can just see the rest of my life ahead of me with no one and it makes me nausesous.
nothing to do with the vodka bruch - course not.

so close but yet so far...

i finally talked to my ex-sister-in-law this evening. she'd texted me during the day but i thought it best to talk this evening once i got home and settled. until this morning she'd had no way to get in touch with me properly as the landline was changed ages ago when i moved from virgin to sky.

so now i really want/need to get to cornwall on wednesday...
know i don't do funerals - and the only one i've done since i've made the rule was for my best friend. feel as though i should go to my ex-husband's service though.

it is the ultimate closure for me and i'd like to be there for his sister that was always so lovely to me. i'd also like to be there in person to ask more questions as it turns out he died of liver disease...he had the perfect life for himself - drinking and surfin'
but it does still make me wonder...

did he also have hepC ???

but damn how far away is cornwall> tis no sense to how long it takes to get somewhere in this tiny little country!

and there's only one flight a day out of stanstead...
the only thing that i can figure is fly out early early wednesday morning and then get the last train back into london. so get a 6am flight and a 5pm train back - which doesn't get into paddington til almost midnight.

6 hours on a train, an hour or so flying plus check in and the time it takes to get to stanstead (its the opposite way makes no sense!!!)

this is the first time that i really wished that i still drove, had a car, and could just take off after my doc appointment tomoro night and stay somewhere on the way or something...ugh!

and i just found out the service is at 3:30pm so don't even think i can do it...

the alternative is to go back with his sister in the summer for a nice trip and to spread his ashes.

monday morning back in bed

...but this time because of snow!
and london just seems to be closed.

i must have got the last train back into london from fishie's last night as the fatman i was spposed to have a meeting with this evening is still stuck in yorkshire. got back to a very very very pretty snow covered london - quieter streets than usual and the usual road construction around here meant alot of the sidestreets were untouched...but also meant no buses, and with the victoria line on usual weekend lockdown there was no chance of a nice reunion with the lovely fiance...so my daughter and i had a lovely bottle of wine and got a bit tipsey then joined some strangers on the street for a midnight snowman building competition (photos to follow)

so i'm double prozac'd and in bed working...

...might finally see the fiance if the snow resides and the one tube line that is running still holds!

now is wish i'd just stayed in bristol with fishie though.
miss taking the isis dog for walks - today would be brilliant in this weather!

belated happy new year

quik one!

second day back in london and back at work in our shiny new office...

sorry to everyone i didn't see back home - got sucked into the family thing and just had too much to do in too little time.  hopefully see you in spring.

xxx

degrees of seperation...

in the old punker/internet/hepC world it seems like the degrees of separation are quite quite low...

another person that i used to squat with by euston station here in london has contacted me via facebook and it turns out that they were tx'd for hepC 5 years ago and cleared.

which again makes it very interesting, because between fishie, me, and them - that all squated together - out of the 3 of us we have genotypes 1, 2, 3 covered!

weird. weird. weird.

so next week shall be a bit of a reunion week as i'm seeing the person that tracked me down on facebook when they are in town on tues/wed then i have fishie visiting london the rest of the week!

which reminds me that i need to get out of bed and go sort the spareroom out...ugh.

been in bed all morn hunting for a sexy hotel in central central milan.
headin over there to see the black keys and get tattooed in november!

blah.

just blah.

there is a big long weekend looming and i'm not well enough to fly my tired ass anywhere sunny.
so i'm just blah.

london might be a bit nice tomro and monday - just maybe though.