exhausted

this last week has been pretty bad for me, not so much diet-wise as overall everything-wise...as of sunday i had worked straight through every day since the easter bank holiday and the days were sometimes as late as midnight, but sunday woke up with the worst jabbing pain ever in my lower left back - probably from sitting on my ass in a work chair 24 fucking 7...especially as with my bad bursitis i can't sit completely straight and flat for more than a couple hours at a time.

so i went and found myself a nice chinese massage on the way to work so i could actually sit in a chair, and could hardly move at bellydance...then got home and could feel one of those spangly migraines coming on so did all the right things - had a pint of water, some green tea, and some broth. or at least i tried to make some broth, but as i was filling the kettle, my middle finger went wierd and numb then my whole right hand - and it was cold to the touch.

scary.

then it passed.

but went straight to my face then my mouth then my tongue = which was even scarier. then that passed too...then the cycle started all over again about half an hour later. and this went on and on for about five hours. til i finally passed out exhausted. went to the doctor the next morning and she reckoned it is from the severity of the migraine.

or it coulda been from my back pain being a pinched nerve.

i've not been online much since it happened as looking at my netbook screen seems to set off a headache. so just sleeping alot which means i've been having a bit of a hard time actually managing to eat all 4 of my foodpacks each day...although tonight it's more just the thought of actually eating again makes me want to hurl. next week i need to make sure i've bough half shakes - they are better for the hot weather as well as at night.

25lbs down!

bosom buddies

okay, so bit more proper post now i'm feeling more human.
i was sick sick sicker than a dog and twas very scary.
if my daughter had not taken me to the doc last friday who knows what could have happened as i certainly wasn't able to get myself anywhere. my fever was 44degrees (in eurotrash degrees).
that is the highest the doc had ever seen...ever.

so what i thought was tattoo flu from a new tattoo, then turned into what i reckoned was stomach flu as everyone i'd spent the weekend with in soho had it bad - so bad that my friend just layed on her stairs and wished for death...so i wasn't alone. it wasn't just flu though - my breasts were covered in horrid red marks, like i'd had the month before when i was sick and went to the doc! only 5 times worse.

doc gave me 2 x different types of penicillin and the heaviest codeinies allowed as my head was a death grip of pain.

so it seems i also had cellulitis across my whole chest, but it turned out to not just be in the skin, but in the breast itself - so lovely mastitis...which i reckon i'd been carrying around for a month since last time i was ill. lucky lucky lucky my daughter dragged me to the doctor with her when she did! so a week later and my fever is finally down to normal and if i wasn't full of pills i'm sure i'd have an appetite.

BUT
my right bosom which seems to be patientX is still a couple cup sizes bigger due to infection.
which could be quite comical if i do make it to ibiza next week...

i really do hope i get to go!
it doesnt seem like it will my big blow out vacation that i'd planned, but i'll still be going out all night dancin' the first night me and my punker friend that works at the ship land. then the next day i'll just head up into the hills to a spa and spend it soaking in salt baths - seasalt has got to be good for bad bosoms...

also really hope i can go to give my daughter a break.
she's been amaxingly wonderful despite herself being down, she's taken such good care of me.
i really am lucky.

oh! and...

it was interesting to talk to my french doctor about achieving svr...
of course he's gone into plastic surgery so isn't completely up on the latest achievements of tx but was so impressed that i'd cleared completely, especially as he's lost a friend to hepC.
but, also interesting is that he'd been a testee for drug trials of interferon when he was a poor med student - and he remembers horridly how sick he was and he never did drug trials after that!

another interesting snippet is that my french doc feels that when he is ill that he is more achey than is normal - and he still blames this on the interferon trials he did years ago.

hmmm...makes sense to me!
i'm alot more achey than i ever was before tx.

so close but yet so far...

i finally talked to my ex-sister-in-law this evening. she'd texted me during the day but i thought it best to talk this evening once i got home and settled. until this morning she'd had no way to get in touch with me properly as the landline was changed ages ago when i moved from virgin to sky.

so now i really want/need to get to cornwall on wednesday...
know i don't do funerals - and the only one i've done since i've made the rule was for my best friend. feel as though i should go to my ex-husband's service though.

it is the ultimate closure for me and i'd like to be there for his sister that was always so lovely to me. i'd also like to be there in person to ask more questions as it turns out he died of liver disease...he had the perfect life for himself - drinking and surfin'
but it does still make me wonder...

did he also have hepC ???

but damn how far away is cornwall> tis no sense to how long it takes to get somewhere in this tiny little country!

and there's only one flight a day out of stanstead...
the only thing that i can figure is fly out early early wednesday morning and then get the last train back into london. so get a 6am flight and a 5pm train back - which doesn't get into paddington til almost midnight.

6 hours on a train, an hour or so flying plus check in and the time it takes to get to stanstead (its the opposite way makes no sense!!!)

this is the first time that i really wished that i still drove, had a car, and could just take off after my doc appointment tomoro night and stay somewhere on the way or something...ugh!

and i just found out the service is at 3:30pm so don't even think i can do it...

the alternative is to go back with his sister in the summer for a nice trip and to spread his ashes.

appointment due

back off to the hospital tomoro for my monthly appointment...
my bloods were still a bit low and i was really wiped out last time i was there so they are still keeping an eye on me. not a bad thing, and i could really do with the break from work as it's been sooo mad busy and is only going to get worse before it gets better thanks to a rebrand i need to deliver before i head off to california for xmas.

and on top of that i'm trying to get out of work as early as poss as it is so nice having my daughter here for me to hang out with - even when we are doing nothing but sitting here watching english telly = we both love mr stephen fry sooo much! and he just used the saying 'dagenham smile' for ass crack, lol!!

so back to hospitally bits, ugh!
well more doctory really - its taken me almost 3 weeks to get my citalopram refill and because of that i'm actually more stressed out and teary-eyed than usual. first the computers were down so they couldn't print my rx, like what did they do B4 computers???? i remember when doctors actually handwrote them...but then i remember when dentists didn't wear gloves too.

then the px wasn't at the chemist when i finally had time to pick up on my way to work, so phoned and hopefully sorted - will see tomoro - but will also ask hepnurse if she'll give me a month's worth so i can stockpile in case this ever happens again - because seriously i don't think my lovely fiancee could take much more of this. or my colleagues.

if i can't score more anti-d's i may be single and unemployed very soon!