sooo last year

so...
i lasted more than a whole year without being ill!

but have just had a bout of flu - it came on tuesday night, i first defensed first thing thursday morning, spent thursday night through saturday lunchtime in bed - but am up and around now...

a year ago this would have layed me out for weeks, but now it's just days.

i think i am finally better!!!!!

food glorious food

i've gone from hardly eating anything at - first from tx, then stress then from tummy fluey something, but now i'm feeling the urge to stress eat from depression and anxiety and fear...so i've tried to figure out my 'safe' food - something that i've worked on previously with hypnosos - only then i still at fish all the time so it was a fishy safe food, and now with the yucky belly i've not been very adventurous - and chosen rice. yup, rice. rice made with vegan broth so at least it has a bit of taste...

made some last night and plan to keep some always on the hob so if i feel like binging at least it'll be there...altho this may all be quite moot as i'm going to be taking part in an art project by charting my weight for 13 days onto a music scale and then having it played by an orchestra and turned into a cellphone ringtone!

so last big meal tonight - as tis english mothers day and my daughter is coming over to make me a big thai dinner when she is finished filming today...

23

its one of those numbers isn't it? lucky like number 7 and/or strange like number 13...one of those numbers that people have something about. but not like my 5 tattoo or 666.

so shot 23 kicked my butt last night. its 5pm and i'm still in bed. the fluey aches started earlier than normal but my own fault for overdoing it last week (again). actually went to a big industry party for moo and was out later than i have been for the last treatment 6 months...i did fall asleep in the indian restaraunt after the party but it was worth it for the yummy auberginey dish i had!

it was also just nice to see all my haddock friends. they have been amazing in their support during my treatment and it was nice to sit around and talk and hug. see, haddock is a little private mailing list i've been on since 1995 - full of other people who have worked or do work or somehow are connected to the digital industry. so i've been talking to these people all day everyday online for over a decade and they have become my best friends. was sooo good to see them.

anyway, laptop battery dying so better go.

fried egg

o i do love the fried egg crochet pattern i found online...
might even try to motivate myself over this treatment weekend (have now definitely lost track of how many more or where i am at and don't really care - just know it is soon!) to get to john lewis and get some yarn - as i have the house to myself again this weekend and already am finding it horrible and lonely!

the fiance is still confined to walthamstow where he lives with his throat infection, and the flatmate is off following some punker band around france. my daughter's foot is finally better so she is up and around and running her bar/burlesque venue in soho all weekend...and since tx started i've only had 3 other grown up visitors.

guess i am typhoid cherry.

ooo why didn't i name my blog that! that sounds good. damn.

i do have to say that this last week with the fiance busy and sick has made me understand what it must be like for others that don't have a partner around to support them alot. i'm finding it hard and lonely even when he is here alot of the time - so this weekend is going to be very very very strange.

and the only person i thought to call has flu too!

ugh.

why can't the weather be better so at least i could sunbathe.
there is a BIG midsummer event in hyde park tomoro that i'd love to go to but really don't want to go alone. i'm not good at doing things alone and really admire women that are...so crochet time it will be...with whatever gym i am up to doing.

*sigh* *whinge* *ugh*

the list

so continuing with the decleor theme...

i tried to write a list on my sidebar but it didn't look right at all.
instead i'm just going to write ANOTHER post about the products that i love.

• aromessence ylang ylang night balm - soothes and helps to balance skin
  
• aromessence ylang ylang - a few drops of this oil balances the skin (daily)
  
• experience de l'age triple action eye and lip cream - my new eye cream for fluey eyes!
  
• cleansing gel - cleanses away foundation without drying out
  
• matifying lotion - like a toner
  
• harmonie soothing eye contour gel - my old pre tx eye gel
  
• eye make up remover gel - soothes as well as removes all mascara
  
• phytopeel - mmm yum thyme scented soft rub off exfoliant
  

note to self: don't forget the baby wipes.

this is the perfect orchid care guide!
luckily someone on the lovely nomads forum pointed me in the right direction after my pleas for help...and i'm feeling a bit more confident about taking care of this very hardy version of an orchid, whew!

now i want more, lol.

but then i'd need somewhere to put them because the only other small shelving unit that i have is covered in cacti and fairy lights (or should i say pixie lights for my new friend). i need lots of new shelving anyway - am spending alot of my new longer expanded insomniac time planning things like that.

now my daughter has tidied alot of her stuff away into the boiler room i can start figuring out how much storage space i need - so a good time to start figuring in new plants, etc...i just wish i had the energy to sort it all out quickly, rather than just picking away at it tiny bit by bit from the sofa. well - measure twice/cut once as the saying goes!

it's all in the planning!

and guess what the fiance has planned for me...
an early birthday treat over easter weekend! he's taking me to a lovely spa hotel for the 4 days. i think i'll be able to do it - travel on friday morning, do my injection on the friday night, hang out being ill and pampered for 3 days then drive home in his lovely luxury car. (my fiance's car is my dream car - a bmw midnight blue series 5 with lush wood panelling interior - makes me feel like a diplomat when he drives me around)

so what else do i need to plan for the weekend?
hmmm...lots and lots of comfy but cutie pie sexy lingerie for sure!
i have a lovely long black satiny nightie that just might be perfect...but the rest of my 'bedwear' is more fetishy so not as comfie and i'm not sure how long i'd last in it feeling fluey. or is that that ultimate masochism for me, lol...

will definitely pack my lovely expensive stockings to go with the new agent provacateur knicker/garter belt thingie the fiance gave me for xmas that i've been keeping for a very special occasion...i just wish my skin looked better right now! in the last month since i started the treatment my cellulite has expanded and i'm rashy all the time.

yup - my skin is actually so sensitive now that even cum makes me welt up in red marks.
with the whole uber-safe double contraceptions sex thing that i have to be on while treatment, there's been alot of cumming on my tits and if i don't baby wipe it away withing in minutes i'm left with horrid marks...ugh!