i still don't like mondays

still not over last week's crash yet...woke up again burning with fever and chills and aching evrywhere - even my breasts, and i know i've not done anything to warrant that as just been too. damn. ill. this treatment weekend. emotionally i'm still completely wiped, really ca't face work tomoro and am being a bitch to the fiance. o dear. i can't wait til this treatment no longer controls my life...

...especially today while i'm home ill and wiped out and there are free tickets to the metal hammer awards and boat party sitting on the living room table. i want to cry. so many of my homeboys like slayer and incubus are in town and there is no way that i'm up for socialisin' today. ugh! and as my daughter just said - no teetotalers allowed on this cruise - double ugh!

i want my life back.

monday ugh

ugh...wokeup thought i was up to trying to get my hair re-touched today...my ashy hair is peaking out from under the brown i overdyed my high lights so it's actually making me look like i've lost even more hair than i actually have...so i phoned up aveda and luckily there was a cancellation today and i can try and get a massage afterwards!

but now i've had a bath, my fever is way back up and the painkillers aren't breaking it. all i want to do is stay in bed now but i look like shit and need to sort my hair out - i know i will feel better once i get up and walk around the corner and get pampered a bit...after all it is doctor's orders! they made me promise not to just work work work and home home home. to do something nice for myself...and i guess i can combine my daily walk with it.

ddnt manage to see my chemo friend at the weekend but will call him tonight and try and again soon when we are both up to it...like herding cats this gathering of the sick, lol!