do the twist...

still thinking so much about change...
2 years ago i was soooo happy - had a lovely job and with the best person i'd met in my life.
then i got sick and was so upset.

now i'm clear
and my job is mad, andthe fiance is gone, how ironic.

but the BIG twist is yesterday i had to go to the breast clinic.
the mastitis i had in june is gone but my right breast is still lumpy so went to have it checked.
big twist is though that the person i wanted there with me was my scandotoy, not the ex fiance.

not sure if i'm moving on because this was my rebound - so t'is all wrapped up together really.

so it looks like i probably need surgery.
the scandotoy is coming from oslo to make sure i'm okay.

not sure i am...

ugh!
the only time i've been in hospital or sick in my life before hepc was when i had me c-section.
now seems i dont' go a month without something happening!

i still don't like mondays

still not over last week's crash yet...woke up again burning with fever and chills and aching evrywhere - even my breasts, and i know i've not done anything to warrant that as just been too. damn. ill. this treatment weekend. emotionally i'm still completely wiped, really ca't face work tomoro and am being a bitch to the fiance. o dear. i can't wait til this treatment no longer controls my life...

...especially today while i'm home ill and wiped out and there are free tickets to the metal hammer awards and boat party sitting on the living room table. i want to cry. so many of my homeboys like slayer and incubus are in town and there is no way that i'm up for socialisin' today. ugh! and as my daughter just said - no teetotalers allowed on this cruise - double ugh!

i want my life back.