blood blood gimme blood

fishie reminded me that i need to get my bloods done...
work has been madness lately, so much so that i've hardly had time to eat (making up for it by beer in the eve) and the anxiety of losing my job now i'm alone is pushing me into overworking even when i'm exhausted, so i've not taken the time to go to the hospitl and wait - i hate that i can't make an appointment to have it done!

so next week before i head off on my scandoland adventures i have to get lots of tests.
escpecially will be interesting to find out my hormone levels...i'm needing them alot lately! which is what i just keep trying to focus on getting away rather than all my internal wobbles at the moment. i still can't believe that everything got so messed up. i miss my best friend - feeling so hollow without him...

i wish i could be stronger!

poids!

so i went to relationship therapy alone tonight.
the fiance didn't come - not sure if it's his newly broken leg or work or what, but i'm such a mess i can't even really think about it right now - i need sleep.

anyway - the therapist was quite interested in my massive weight gain - its very noticeable. she says that now i know i have svr that instead of using alcohol to punish myself i have started using food as my threat of diabetes is so great that this is now an easier way of topping myself than drinking...interesting.

think i'll be safe the next few days though as paris so is not vegan!