its working.

i really really love my GP.
went to see her this evening to get my monthly blood pressure checkup and she took about 45 mins chatting with me about all aspects of my health, and is really interested in how the diet is working for me. as well as the paperwork, she weighed me but i don't want to pay it much mind as the scales may not be calibrated the same as the ones at my group...but she also measured my waist AND I'VE LOST 6 INCHES OFF MY WAIST IN LESS THAN A MONTH woooohoooo.

blood blood gimme blood

fishie reminded me that i need to get my bloods done...
work has been madness lately, so much so that i've hardly had time to eat (making up for it by beer in the eve) and the anxiety of losing my job now i'm alone is pushing me into overworking even when i'm exhausted, so i've not taken the time to go to the hospitl and wait - i hate that i can't make an appointment to have it done!

so next week before i head off on my scandoland adventures i have to get lots of tests.
escpecially will be interesting to find out my hormone levels...i'm needing them alot lately! which is what i just keep trying to focus on getting away rather than all my internal wobbles at the moment. i still can't believe that everything got so messed up. i miss my best friend - feeling so hollow without him...

i wish i could be stronger!

going for blood

i finally said to the fiance last night that i can't take anymore - it's time for me to start taking care of myself and having a chance of celebrating that i have a second chance at life since my svr...since january i've been living on eggshells and i just can't keep doing it without losing my job, my mind, and everything else...

so went to the doc to get more prozac, but despite what the relate therapist says i'm still self medicating and upping the dose with extras donated from friends that no longer take it.

(big thanks to you know who you are!!!!)

i washed them down with beer at the pub at lunch - went with a colleague who is the most amazing person and gives the best advice.

and as well as getting the drugs, i've also got a blood test slip to go get my hormone levels and diabetes, and everything else - she agrees that the interferon has probably aged my body - especially my lovely heart shaped box!

did it.

just got home from getting the blood drawn for my 3 month post-txpcr to see if i' still clear.
weird. i'm alot more stressed about this test result than i have been for any of my other hcv tests. guess because now i know what all the consequences are if i'm not. hopefully i'll get my results quickly - my lovely hepnurse said she'd call me next week when back from vacation...

*pray*

really really should go to the gym tonight.
need to try out my new purple nike zooms!
but the weather is poo, and i'm still feeling weak from last week/end so instead will probably stay home, keep warm, and do some yoga.

*namaste*

i vant your bloooood....

back at the hospital yesterday...
my bloods are almost okay again.

and i'm back next week for my 3 month blood test to see if i'm still clear. my lovely hepnurse will phone me with the results the week after.

i've not even had the blood test yet and already i feel like i'm holding my breath to find out.
well, holding my breath AND on the verge of tears.

i'm ready for the worst just in case.

better not cut the citalopram yet!

on a much lighter and happier note - i'm off to a po0pbitch vodka client party with members of duran duran and other 80s has-beens (like me) tonight...fishie is coming with me.
we will be in our aged punker element!!

don't go changing...

so many things seem to be changing and there is sooo much to think about.
i now have to remember to eat to take my pills...and am finding that hard - not that i usually have a problem eating - its just eating when i need to im finding difficult! especially as things are tasting sooo different...

another change is my girlie bits!
yes surprisingly even that is effected so they are infected...
i've been shaved clean for around 6 years (before that i sported a cross shape dyed red!)
but i nicked myself REALLY bad in 2 places the other week and it just wasn't healing up as quickly as usual - but then neither are the period spots i get on my chin! - so i've decided that its probably a good idea to go a bit au naturale for a bit...just nicely tidy and trimmed without the worry of damage, lol.

yea i could wax but the last waxer i went to and asked for a playboy was sooo not comfortable with getting into my nooks and crannies that she did a terrible job and i had to come home and shave the leftovers anyway! hmmm...maybe i should ask my stripper daughter if any of her colleagues know a good place?

i used to have an amazing woman that would get EVERYWHERE. loved her sooo much. she was syrian but had grown up in sweden and somehow made it to london (like we all do!) ironically she gave up waxing to start doing laser tattoo removal so she ended up inflicting pain on me in an entirely different way!

yup. did i mention i'm tattooed...like heavily.
probably how i'm infected. it would seem likely that it was from back in the old punk rock days when we all worked on each other with tattoo machines made from guitar strings and walkman motors. yea likely.

EXCEPT nothing ever showed up in any blood test ever over the last 20 years?
and i got tattooed by one of the guys off the london ink show at a convention in basle last spring then became really ill within months of that - could that have been my infection point? guess there really is no way to tell...

what is interesting is that my genotype is 2b so not very prevalant in this area.
i'm one of only a few at the hospital and the nurse says its seen more in southeast asia and common in sydney too - places i've never been! so maybe it is a pacific rim thing i picked up in california - or a global thing picked up at a tattoo convention where people from all over the world come together?

wouldn't it be great if our bodies had some sort of version control like a computer program or a server log? then i could go back and scan the log files for any anomaly...
actually as i w0rk in the industry more and more i'm finding it interesting to compare hepC with computer viruses...i'd love to meet a techie nerd that also has it to stay up online and discuss well into my insomniac hours.

last night was the 4th night in a row i didn't sleep.
i seem to either fall asleep early and wake up at 3am or stay awake til after 3 but have to be up for 8 to go to work...double trouble exhaustion!