Wednesday, April 29, 2009

going for blood

i finally said to the fiance last night that i can't take anymore - it's time for me to start taking care of myself and having a chance of celebrating that i have a second chance at life since my svr...since january i've been living on eggshells and i just can't keep doing it without losing my job, my mind, and everything else...

so went to the doc to get more prozac, but despite what the relate therapist says i'm still self medicating and upping the dose with extras donated from friends that no longer take it.

(big thanks to you know who you are!!!!)

i washed them down with beer at the pub at lunch - went with a colleague who is the most amazing person and gives the best advice.

and as well as getting the drugs, i've also got a blood test slip to go get my hormone levels and diabetes, and everything else - she agrees that the interferon has probably aged my body - especially my lovely heart shaped box!


Fishwhiskers said...

well, in a way i am glad u have taken matters into hand. it will be hard, and sometimes even harder, but u will be ok. we're of a breed of survivors ... otherwise we wouldnt be here anymore. sending u big virtual hugs and u know where i am when i feel like it xxxx

hepkittie said...

wish i felt empowered but have to say that ust feel poo...will see you when i'm better company - if ever!

H. Heart said...

Its not easy making changes. I'm certain you need some time to take care of yourself, physically, and emotionally. This will hurt a bit. Like grieving a loss. This will be hard. Don't numb yourself up too much. You need to feel even if its not pleasant.
1. Crying releases good chemicals to help the brain. So you actually feel better after a good cry. Wish you could cry on my shoulders.
2. Writing your feelings out helps to get it out.Don't stuff it in or it will be back to bite you later. Just get a notebook and take it to the park and get writing.Those are a couple of good tips I've learned from therapy.
3. Stay around positive happy people.

I'm glad you're getting good care and having the tests done. I'm feeling better since starting on the Hormone replacement.

Fishwhiskers said...

i completely agree with humble's suggestions about the numbing, the grieving and the writing down. and if u need HRT, then go for it. i went through the menopause believing i was depressed, only now that i am past it i have realised that it was actually a 'normal' feminine process.

ur always good company, hun, no matter which frame of mind ur in. but i understand that u might not want to see people at the moment. oh and by the way, up there that should have read: "YOU know where i am when YOU feel like it", not when I feel like it duh!!!