sorry for the cross post!

i've also not been round very much, so huge apologies from me.
am working more hours than ever.

still with my lovely blondeboy that i met almost a year ago while visiting fishwhiskers!

FINALLY had my fibroscan this last week.
it was absolutely horrid.
got sent to the royal free in london for it and the woman scanning me made feel absolutely horrid about my weight - she actually jiggled my tummy and told me she doubted she could get a reading with all my padding. i almost burst into tears! but instead turned it into anger and told her if i'd got the test over a year ago when i was still sick i'd have been alot thinner.

she then chastised me again for wasting my healthy liver by gaining weight and turning it all fatty.

i don't know what to do - this is about the 5th health care professional that has told me i need to lose weight, but none of them have offered the slightest bit of help to do it...so took matters into my own hands today and used the last £80 i had to my name and went and got a colonic irrigation - thinking of it as a big 'reset' of my system. the woman performing the colonic is an x nurse and was wonderful - explained to me that if my liver is not working well then the best diet and exercise in whole world will not help me lose weight.

so...she suggested and apple juice liver cleanse - has anyone else done one?

going for blood

i finally said to the fiance last night that i can't take anymore - it's time for me to start taking care of myself and having a chance of celebrating that i have a second chance at life since my svr...since january i've been living on eggshells and i just can't keep doing it without losing my job, my mind, and everything else...

so went to the doc to get more prozac, but despite what the relate therapist says i'm still self medicating and upping the dose with extras donated from friends that no longer take it.

(big thanks to you know who you are!!!!)

i washed them down with beer at the pub at lunch - went with a colleague who is the most amazing person and gives the best advice.

and as well as getting the drugs, i've also got a blood test slip to go get my hormone levels and diabetes, and everything else - she agrees that the interferon has probably aged my body - especially my lovely heart shaped box!

don't go changing...

so many things seem to be changing and there is sooo much to think about.
i now have to remember to eat to take my pills...and am finding that hard - not that i usually have a problem eating - its just eating when i need to im finding difficult! especially as things are tasting sooo different...

another change is my girlie bits!
yes surprisingly even that is effected so they are infected...
i've been shaved clean for around 6 years (before that i sported a cross shape dyed red!)
but i nicked myself REALLY bad in 2 places the other week and it just wasn't healing up as quickly as usual - but then neither are the period spots i get on my chin! - so i've decided that its probably a good idea to go a bit au naturale for a bit...just nicely tidy and trimmed without the worry of damage, lol.

yea i could wax but the last waxer i went to and asked for a playboy was sooo not comfortable with getting into my nooks and crannies that she did a terrible job and i had to come home and shave the leftovers anyway! hmmm...maybe i should ask my stripper daughter if any of her colleagues know a good place?

i used to have an amazing woman that would get EVERYWHERE. loved her sooo much. she was syrian but had grown up in sweden and somehow made it to london (like we all do!) ironically she gave up waxing to start doing laser tattoo removal so she ended up inflicting pain on me in an entirely different way!

yup. did i mention i'm tattooed...like heavily.
probably how i'm infected. it would seem likely that it was from back in the old punk rock days when we all worked on each other with tattoo machines made from guitar strings and walkman motors. yea likely.

EXCEPT nothing ever showed up in any blood test ever over the last 20 years?
and i got tattooed by one of the guys off the london ink show at a convention in basle last spring then became really ill within months of that - could that have been my infection point? guess there really is no way to tell...

what is interesting is that my genotype is 2b so not very prevalant in this area.
i'm one of only a few at the hospital and the nurse says its seen more in southeast asia and common in sydney too - places i've never been! so maybe it is a pacific rim thing i picked up in california - or a global thing picked up at a tattoo convention where people from all over the world come together?

wouldn't it be great if our bodies had some sort of version control like a computer program or a server log? then i could go back and scan the log files for any anomaly...
actually as i w0rk in the industry more and more i'm finding it interesting to compare hepC with computer viruses...i'd love to meet a techie nerd that also has it to stay up online and discuss well into my insomniac hours.

last night was the 4th night in a row i didn't sleep.
i seem to either fall asleep early and wake up at 3am or stay awake til after 3 but have to be up for 8 to go to work...double trouble exhaustion!