remember remember the ills of november

just had a lovely long luxurious day with the fish sister!
o how i love my fishwhiskers and she is looking hot hot hot.

i on the other hand am looking not not not.
even she noticed my weight gain...

so tomoro is back on it properly.
i saw a beautiful woman walking down the street tonight when we were on our way home from bristol and i realied that if i really tried hard hard hard that i too could look like that again!

its now been almost a year since any major infections and almost a year since i broke vegan, so i'm hoping that my immune system is up to a routine of:

morning yoga
apple juice with powdered greens and psyllium husks
breakfast of organic yogurt and fruit with seeds (altho may remind me too much of treatie!)
green tea all morn
healthy lunch
early dinner
gym on mon/thur/sat
tribal fusion belly dance on wed
no carbs after 18:00 by order of my amaxing trainer ivo badrov
cut down or out on the alcohol...
practise tribal belly isolations every night

trying.

so i've been trying to do this new 'routine' for eating/health and failing miserabley!

the only thing i'm managing to keep up with is the juice potion every morning, but trying to eat three meals a day, at the same time everyday, just is not happening at all. i get up too late and not hungry at all so breakfast around eight doesn't work, lunch i can do, but dinner before seven no way as i'm barely leaving work then!

ugh...and still not managing sleep at all.

i'm trying, but this 'routine' is trying as well.

i think it must be great if you are some buddhist giving bum washes for a living but am a bellydancing punker that works in digital advertising!

april fool

i've had so much to write but just not been in the mood to sit and type it all out...

things are all still up and down with the fiance, but at least now when it's down he is still communicating with me, so i am coping with it better. so hence i'm more able to blog today i guess. and as well as write, i've made it to the gym as well - i have a new workout routine that my lovely trainer joshua has made for me - trying to build myself back up and lose the weight that has been piling on...so already hurting, am gonna be really sore in the morning!

and that's not the only soreness i've got.

finally seem to be getting my first post-treatment post-depo period. and it doesn't feel right or like any of the other periods i've ever had...for one thing this bleeding is dark dark almost black, and chunky like a chocolate brownie. but with cramps that are alot less painful than any i've ever had in my life, ever. strange.

another strange thing is i seem to have some wierd post-treatment stigmata (see photo, those are old piercings). i've got a mark/bruise on my belly that looks just like an interferon shot mark. how strange is this? the fiance thinks its some sort of psychosomatic thing. i'm not sure what it is...its just wierd.