going for blood

i finally said to the fiance last night that i can't take anymore - it's time for me to start taking care of myself and having a chance of celebrating that i have a second chance at life since my svr...since january i've been living on eggshells and i just can't keep doing it without losing my job, my mind, and everything else...

so went to the doc to get more prozac, but despite what the relate therapist says i'm still self medicating and upping the dose with extras donated from friends that no longer take it.

(big thanks to you know who you are!!!!)

i washed them down with beer at the pub at lunch - went with a colleague who is the most amazing person and gives the best advice.

and as well as getting the drugs, i've also got a blood test slip to go get my hormone levels and diabetes, and everything else - she agrees that the interferon has probably aged my body - especially my lovely heart shaped box!

april fool

i've had so much to write but just not been in the mood to sit and type it all out...

things are all still up and down with the fiance, but at least now when it's down he is still communicating with me, so i am coping with it better. so hence i'm more able to blog today i guess. and as well as write, i've made it to the gym as well - i have a new workout routine that my lovely trainer joshua has made for me - trying to build myself back up and lose the weight that has been piling on...so already hurting, am gonna be really sore in the morning!

and that's not the only soreness i've got.

finally seem to be getting my first post-treatment post-depo period. and it doesn't feel right or like any of the other periods i've ever had...for one thing this bleeding is dark dark almost black, and chunky like a chocolate brownie. but with cramps that are alot less painful than any i've ever had in my life, ever. strange.

another strange thing is i seem to have some wierd post-treatment stigmata (see photo, those are old piercings). i've got a mark/bruise on my belly that looks just like an interferon shot mark. how strange is this? the fiance thinks its some sort of psychosomatic thing. i'm not sure what it is...its just wierd.