Showing posts with label horrid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horrid. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

5 is my lucky number...



...but it doesn't feel like it today!

it is the fifth day and this diet is really kicking my butt.
i have been light-headed and hicupping for hours.
had to miss my bellydance conditioning class with darkstar tonight as i was feeling so woozy.
strange, when i was on tx i would have pushed through - but then that was only getting my ass on the power plate...passing out in bellydance class coulda been embarrassing - especially when first aid is not kerry's strong point, lol.

it is all my own fault though.
i think i got a bit dehydrated today.
had to change my shaker/container from the horrid big plastic embarrassing lighter life one given free with the diet, to a nice brushed steel thermos. chic, but doesn't hold enough - so i probably didn't drink enough water.

the other reason it is my own fault is we are told not to exercise for the first week and until our body has got used to the diet and in ketosis...but i still went to the gym on saturday for a lighter session then usual but sunday was a new tribal bellydance class with arina of fleur estelle - it was the hardest class i have done since moria's at raqs britannia last year.

it is all worth it though.
the girls at work can see a bit of difference and my blondeboy says i look alot less bloated than before. of course some of this is due to my doctor changing my meds, but mostly due to the new diet!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

her time now

this week has been a really really hard week and i'm feeling more and more lonely than ever,
got home from the hospital on wednesday to find my daughter here, very upset and it's not got any better. i'm afraid she is going through some sort of breakdown and i really have no idea how to deal with it and please if anyone out there has any advice send me a comment. basically she is low. it seems like depression as she is sleeping all the time...i just wish i was in a stronger place to be of more help to her.

amaxingly the x-fiance has been lovely altho i don't want to hear what he has to say. he thinks she might need residential care and i refuse to do it as they are horrid places. still, besides my new flatmate who is my old friend from dublin and my daughter's friend's family, i feel i really have no one. i've txted my family to ask for them to at least get in touch with her so she feels she has support, but nothing. i miss church. this is when i really need the support of others and there is nothing here in london for me.

i've thought about flying us both back home just so we aren't so alone, but not sure that is the answer either...it's just so hard. whenever i'm in a different room to her i just break down into tears myself. i want my engagement back, i want to be settled down, i don't want to be alone.

Monday, June 1, 2009

back

back to the hospital on wednesday...
and am so worn out it's probably a good thing!
i've got horrid mouth ulcers again and anytime i get a spot it turns into a weeping pus sore. lovely - just what i need now i'm a single woman again.