Sunday, June 7, 2009

her time now

this week has been a really really hard week and i'm feeling more and more lonely than ever,
got home from the hospital on wednesday to find my daughter here, very upset and it's not got any better. i'm afraid she is going through some sort of breakdown and i really have no idea how to deal with it and please if anyone out there has any advice send me a comment. basically she is low. it seems like depression as she is sleeping all the time...i just wish i was in a stronger place to be of more help to her.

amaxingly the x-fiance has been lovely altho i don't want to hear what he has to say. he thinks she might need residential care and i refuse to do it as they are horrid places. still, besides my new flatmate who is my old friend from dublin and my daughter's friend's family, i feel i really have no one. i've txted my family to ask for them to at least get in touch with her so she feels she has support, but nothing. i miss church. this is when i really need the support of others and there is nothing here in london for me.

i've thought about flying us both back home just so we aren't so alone, but not sure that is the answer either...it's just so hard. whenever i'm in a different room to her i just break down into tears myself. i want my engagement back, i want to be settled down, i don't want to be alone.

4 comments:

Fishwhiskers said...

Oh dear, it never rains but it pours. It must feel absolutely desolate for u at the moment. U know my daughter has/is suffered from depression, psychosis, bulimia and self harm, so I can imagine where ur at with the whole thing. I don't think the residential care should be considered quite yet. I always feel that that is the last resort. However, I think she should be considering therapy ... cognitive therapy, as to learn how to deal with her present situation. If I can do anything, please let me know. You know I love you both and be there/on the phone/msn whenever u need me. Giving u a big hug xxx

Hope Is My Middle Name said...

I'm so sorry about your daughter. I also don't think residential care is a good idea, unless she's threatening to harm herself or someone else. Medication would probably work quicker than anything else. I don't know how she fits into the health care system in the UK - was that part of the reason why you are thinking of returning to the US? Also, since I think I remember that she's grown, so she's going to have to agree to whatever treatment she can get - you can't force her to do anything. I'm so sorry you're dealing with one crummy situation after another lately...

hepkittie said...

yea it does seem to rain/pour doesn't it? the residential care is more my daughter's idea than mine and i'm fighting it completely. if it has to go that way then i'll spend everything i've got to let her do it privately. she's also been looking at cbt information that i got from the doc - its an online thing so she can do it where and when suits her. thanks so much to you both xxx

H. Heart said...

Its not easy to be a young adult during these times of uncertainly. Not easy to be a mother of one. I hope she pulls out of this.Maybe you can download some LDS hymns and play them for her. Music can help her feel the spirit...and you too. Maybe she'll remember some of the Primary songs. xxx Much love