ass chat - literally (sorry)

i'm not actually sure if anyone even reads this blog at all...guess i could look on my analytics, but then it might completely put me off if there is no one out there. and i'm finding blogging again quite helpful in organising my thoughts around weight loss and health. so if you are out therem i'm sorry i've not been posting the last couple weeks but i've been away gyspy dancing in brighton and also squeezing in as many other dance workshops as possible...

...thinkin' that this would help me lose weight.
and it did week 2: lost 5lbs then week 3 sucked with only 1 pound lost. even after working my ass off literally to the point of exhaustion. which i'm now thinking and hearing may have been the reason why my loss was so little. so this weekend i've taken it a bit easier, and ensured that i've rested.

another reason i think i may have not lost much?
i was literally full of shit! even adding as much fiber as i could to my lighter life food packs, i was still tightly packed, then i swear i pooed out at least 2lbs of crap the next morning. i wish i could have demanded a recount for the week! so this week i'm also eating dulco-lax like sweeties to try and shift my weight that way as well as burn it.

ugh...wish me luck.

april fool

i've had so much to write but just not been in the mood to sit and type it all out...

things are all still up and down with the fiance, but at least now when it's down he is still communicating with me, so i am coping with it better. so hence i'm more able to blog today i guess. and as well as write, i've made it to the gym as well - i have a new workout routine that my lovely trainer joshua has made for me - trying to build myself back up and lose the weight that has been piling on...so already hurting, am gonna be really sore in the morning!

and that's not the only soreness i've got.

finally seem to be getting my first post-treatment post-depo period. and it doesn't feel right or like any of the other periods i've ever had...for one thing this bleeding is dark dark almost black, and chunky like a chocolate brownie. but with cramps that are alot less painful than any i've ever had in my life, ever. strange.

another strange thing is i seem to have some wierd post-treatment stigmata (see photo, those are old piercings). i've got a mark/bruise on my belly that looks just like an interferon shot mark. how strange is this? the fiance thinks its some sort of psychosomatic thing. i'm not sure what it is...its just wierd.