Thursday, March 6, 2008

weakly update

...over a week since my last update!
this is because i'm finding it harder and harder to drag around my brick of a work laptop to write on while the hard drive is being replaced in my tiny little vaio...
its scary that i can actually already feel the changes in my body after only 2 weeks into the treatment. last night at the gym i could do hardly anything without really feeling it.
i'm still trying to get there at least twice a week though.
my workouts are just getting lighter and lighter - ugh!
i have a wedding to get ready for and this is sooo not bridal bootcamp.

sooo much i wanted to blog but i'm sure i've forgotten most of it.
i actually was almost in tears yesterday at work - all afternoon because of it. the phyisical stuff surrounding the treatment i was ready for...well kinda. i thought i'd be sick for 3 days and it would be over - not feverish for 51/2 days ugh.

but really it's the brain fug that is gettin' to me.
i'm a quite intelligent person - mensa, etc...but now i know how it must feel to be stupid AND hungover and it's scary and upsetting. yesterday was the first day it was bad - i couldn't concentrate on anything!

my nickname at work has always been rainman.
i'm affeared i've a lost it now.

...which must be leading to the dreaded depression?
or is tis it vice/versa...

all i know is that since yesterday lunchtime the tears are barely controllable.
they are right there, welling up, about to spill any moment.
and i don't want to be like this.

No comments: